Anyone who has ever started a business, taken over an existing one, or changed jobs knows how tough it is. No matter how prepared we are, how much “homework” we do, or how confident we feel that the move we are making is the right one, we cannot help but wonder, “What if?” What if things don’t work out? What if I am not making the right choice? What if, what if, what if?
These same feelings of uncertainty apply to relationships, friendships, partnerships, or whatever interaction or endeavor we are involved with at the time that shakes up our life, stirring it until our head feels like its spinning. In a way it is. The feeling is similar to the one I used to get as a child when I’d spin around and around in a circle until I was dizzy. After stopping, I would then try and walk in a straight line, wobbling for the first few steps but gradually regaining my balance.
I have felt this same sensation at different times in my life, which, looking back, occurred during periods of change for me. Whether I was starting school, a new career, beginning a romance, ending one, or going back to a former one, I felt the same – a little afraid, but still determined to make a change. I have to say, I am fortunate. Though I recognize how scary the unknown can be, I have always been able to summon my strength and, with confidence, push ahead.
For me, reinventing myself is like fuel. I feel empowered whenever I delve into a different part of myself – a talent that I haven’t tapped into in a while, creativity that I haven’t yet cultivated, or some interest that I never knew I had. Whenever I learn something new about myself, I feel strong, despite those “what ifs” never being too far from the surface. And when they do begin to poke through, I push them back, opting to take a chance – on me and my future.
Last week we lost a television icon and, even more so, a part of American popular culture – Mary Tyler Moore. Anyone who has ever made a change in their life, particularly a woman, whether to move to a new city for a job or alter their existence in any way, can see herself in Mary. I can, and it was her death that inspired me to look back at the many instances in my life when I took a chance and wondered to myself if I was going to make it.
The past six months have been challenging. But I have been savoring every moment, embracing the puzzle that I have in front of me, the one I laid out, figuring out how all the pieces will fit together. The good news is, they are beginning to. That’s because I understand how my vision of style pervades every aspect of our lives. Through fashion, we can show the world the person we are and, more importantly, use our clothes to call upon the woman we are each meant to be.
This week, as I began carefully laying out the items I am displaying for Valentine’s Day, I did so with Mary in mind. Mary valued herself and her friendships. She valued her career and the life she was building – for her. Valentine’s Day is about so much more than romance. It is a holiday about love, the love we have for those we care for and who care for us, and, most notably, the love we have for ourselves. Valentine’s Day is a celebration of each and every one of us, regardless of who is doing the celebrating.
So go ahead and celebrate – alone, partnered, scared, or empowered – knowing you, and I, are gonna make it after all.
Have you ever felt determined to make a change?
Doni Feinberg Landy, Esq. is a mom, entrepreneur, store owner, lawyer, blogger, talent manager/agent, bag lady, and jewelry junkie.